Chasmic Connection

It was the first time I had seen curves so beautifully graced on someone’s face

As if god had specially sat down and perfected each embrace

The moment I saw you smile, my heart had skipped a beat

The moment I saw you smile I went a little weak in the knees

My heartbeat matched the highs and lows of that one in a billion smile,

For I had never seen a smile so selfless

For I had never seen a love so breathless.

For my heart had never felt so damn restless.

The first time when the wave of your lips reached the shore of my lips I felt calm; as if the chase was finally over

The sort of calmness that forced me to give in to you completely; I felt at home

For no one had kissed me so passionately ever before,

For no one had ever come so close

For I had never felt so unbelievably secure

Your kiss as subtle as your smile had awoken the goddess within me

Your kiss as subtle as your smile that day had nearly, totally killed me.

You left me speechless, wondering whether somebody would ever cherish me the way you did

You left me speechless, for no one had ever made me feel like I am their world’s queen.

Your smile had become the reason for all my worries to freeze

That day was the first time my heart felt it had reached its final destination,

That day was the last time my heart felt such a chasmic connection.

 ~ By Aishwarya ©

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To You, For You

I can still feel your kiss on the lines of my lips

I can still feel your touch on the dimples of my cheeks

I can still feel your tight grip in my palms that I see

I can still feel your breath on the curves of my hips

I can still recall you smiling on the sight of me

I can still feel your lungs getting restless while you waited for me

I can still smell from a distance the smell of the new blue shirt that you had worn that day just for me; cause I liked Blue

I can still recall how you made excuses to get a glimpse of me

I can still hear your caged heart beating standing by the window to see your love; Me

I can still feel your disappointment from the day destiny had made me leave

I can still feel the depth of your sadness on the thought of losing me

I still remember, you cried in those final moments seeing the last of me

I can still, even today find the truth amongst all your lies, for that day I had seen honesty in those dark brown eyes; I try

I can still feel you worrying about me now and then though it’s been years since we last met

I can still feel you smiling with tears rolling down your cheek even today when you think of me

I still want to believe for once that you had truly & only loved me

~By Aishwarya ©

~Every Abused Victim

They ordered me to grow a spine, move on and behave as if all is fine,

They worry about my marriage and not my scarred mind!

They worry about my hymen and not my prolonged silence.

They worry about their reputation and not my actual mental condition!

They want me to forget that it ever happened,

They want me to hide my face and accept that it will all be but forgotten!

They blame me that it was my clothing,

They say that it was my wrong doing!

Some say that I deserved it, others say; I should have preserved it!

Some say I shouldn’t have resisted, others say; I should have persisted, fought harder!

Some say I should have died, others say indeed all the fault was mine!

And then,

Some of them ordered me to forget the crime and move on as if all is fine;

As if nothing ever happened!

©  By Aishwarya

Why is it that when a heinous crime like rape, molestation or abuse of any kind is committed, there is no one to look after the mental health of the victim. Why is it that in most cases the primary concern of parents or relatives is “who will marry my daughter now?” or “her entire life has been spoilt, who will look after her?” or “Ab log kya kahenge?” (“what will people say now?”)

Why don’t people first and foremost take care of the victims mental and emotional wellbeing? Why do they almost always forget that “they” are humans first, that this trauma would have scarred them to an unimaginable extent. They need only to be looked after first, with care, love and all the support.

During such situations, we should help the victims heal and try rebuilding their self-confidence. Whatever happened was wrong and the pain; unimaginable, but helping them “live”  their life normally/happily is any day more important than “ab isse shaadi kon karega?” or “log kya kahenge?”

#mentalhealthawarenessmonth #poetry #emotionalwellbeing #poetsofindia

•|\FOREVER//|~

It’s sad that good things or happy things don’t last forever. Maybe forever has been a lie all along. Maybe forever was always just a word that had nothing to do with it’s meaning. Unfortunately, the sad reality is that everyone’s ‘forever’ comes with an expiry date. People often take it for granted & think that their ‘forever’ will last forever. Some say that forever is a myth but I don’t think so, I feel forever exists but within a timeline, with an end date & time. Some people who are lucky enough witness the evolution of their ‘forever’ throughout their life, some a few months & some, mere moments but it does exist; between the start & end of a relationship, between tears of joy & sadness, in that one life defining moment. It breathes in one night stands and long lost romances, in stories & pictures, cultures & traditions that leaves an everlasting imprint on our minds. It exists within the blink of an eye or a moments courage. Some are living their ‘forever’, some still awaiting its arrival. For me forever’s a relative term, true to some extent, at times a victim of perspectives. For you see darling forever’s not a lie, in most cases it’s just short lived.💙💫

What are your views on this?  comment below.😊

A MONOLOGUE WITH *DEPRESSION*

The first time I met you was back in late 2016.

When happiness had just slid out the door, leaving behind its opposite darker self, staring down into my soul.

I remember how nights became longer & days unexpectedly shorter.

Then nights became days & days turned into nights.

AM’s into PM’s & PM’s into AM’s!

Out of habit I was forced to live in this newly adapted time line.

Things became tough, stepping out felt like a huge test, a daunting task,

Like walking into an interview where everyone knew I was going to be the next REEJECT!

Junk food became my staple diet, sugar became my alcohol and negativity- my new home!

In this little world, my mind only knew of darkness, as if this world had never seen the brink of light,

As if it had never known HOPE or HEALTHY!

Months went by in a blink of an eye.

Several tantrums, fucked up lifestyle, endless questions, numerous self help books & sessions later, I came across the fact that I was clinically depressed!

I remembered then, telling my friends how it was easy to ask for help, to reach out to people if they ever felt *depressed* or it would be completely okay if they just tried to divert their mind!

But that very day I realized how wrong I was,

Anything easier said than done, I couldn’t look you in the eye nor could I look at myself in the mirror!

I was ashamed at how *depression* was the thing I had been dealing with all this while!

Turns out even my mind was tainted by the social stigma attached with you, turns out I was no different!

Afraid of this 10 lettered word, I went through MY 5 stages of shock:  

  1. Confusion
  2. Denial
  3. Anger
  4. Bargaining
  5. Acceptance

I never really understood how and when you broke into my house, my humble abode – MY MIND & made it your HOME!

You thrived in this beautiful house, grew by each passing day, gained control of this host body and became powerful as ever!

You became the dictator of my actions and ruled my mind!

One moment I would laugh, the next, my world would come crashing down!

I didn’t really know why it was happening or what really was going on but I definitely knew something was terribly wrong in my head!

Countless encounters later, I came face to face with you, once again & looked you in the eye, not with fear but with courage!

By this time my body, my mind had learnt to recognize your ways of doing things.

Hence I knew of your arrival & of your departure!

My life has been a bit less of a living hell from then on.

I knew I couldn’t throw you out all at once but I could definitely learn to calm you the hell down!

I knew then & there in that precise moment that in this temple of a body I had to find a way to live peacefully.

But as time passed, I somewhat gained control on you, I knew I couldn’t remove you from my system all at once cause the more I tried to, the more you resisted, the more you toughened your grip!

Shocking but its true that no matter how much I try, you’ll never really leave me alone, hence I decided to befriend you so that we learn to CO-EXIST!

Since then, whenever I am at lowest, and (if) you knock on my door, I know I have to let you in, cause I know for a fact that MY ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH YOU!

Monologue ends: 04:14am.

YEAR: 2019

•7th October 2018•

Sometimes I wish that people were pleasant and uncomplicated,
Like the sun rising in the morning,
Like the moon showing up at night,
Like the stars, shining as elegantly as they should,
Like the northern lights that bring about a sight of a lifetime and peace of a sort~ neither an ounce less nor an ounce more!

But people, well, they’re people, they aren’t constant like change,
They aren’t simple as snowfall,
They are nothing but like the foggy mornings of fall,
The kind that leaves you confused and wondering, searching for something more, something more concrete maybe.

People are like puzzles, everyone trying to piece it all together,
Grabbing a piece from here, a piece from there,
Forgetting that it’s their story,
they are the creators & the narrators, and all the pieces, reside in them.
All they need to do is look harder, and Ofcourse in that corner right within them!

Happy Reading ya’ll! 🌸♥️💜😊